Officially Unemployed

•13 July, 2010 • Leave a Comment

So, it’s now been….just over 3 months since I withdrew from the teaching program and started looking for work. And just over 3 months since I haven’t been able to obtain work. So, I guess that makes me *officially unemployed*. This is a first for me, and it’s weird, frustrating, and most of all, boring. And I’m not even scrounging benefits. heh.

People ask me “So what are you up to today/tomorrow/this week?”. My answer, the same every time: “Looking for work”.

Seriously, I have nothing to say about my life. Unless you want to know what happened on the Real Housewives of New Jersey. There was a fight. No changes there either. Oh, and I bought my dog some food today. Went to the coffee shop. Surfed the net for jobs. Met someone I know and had a chat (that was nice!). Came home. Watched TV.

Pretty awesome huh?

Just trying to keep the faith, not be grouchy, and not feel dispirited over the lack of job offers.

This is Boring

•11 July, 2010 • Leave a Comment

This blog has been a snooze. It really doesn’t reflect me at all. I mean yes, what I’ve been saying in it has reflected some of my inner-most thoughts, but it doesn’t reflect what I spend more of my time thinking about. Like how The Real Housewives shows both horrify and fascinate me. How I got an awesome french pedicure by a slightly bitchy Vietnamese lady. How I rotate between two local coffee shops because one place has better coffee but obnoxious staff, the other place is super friendly but the coffee so so. How I was totally bored by the World Cup. How I spend a lot of time researching various countries and fantasizing about working in them. How I am growing weary of having no social life – people to sit around and drink beers with.

So, I think I better make this more relevant.

I still think about the other shit. But not as much as I should.

Still In Control?

•2 June, 2010 • Leave a Comment

The days are starting to get a bit long. The job search has been going on for about 2 months now, in earnest. I’ve expanded my search to organizations I initially wasn’t considering. And in the end these have resulted in not much of anything. Which I think could be God’s way of saying “Chill out, it’s still in My control.” It’s easy to lose sight of God’s guidance, particularly when you start to feel the earthly pressures – finance, living situation, boredom. And it’s my natural impulse to control things. To make things happen. This is the first time in a long while that I’ve had to really try and let go, let God work, let things move in His time. It’s not easy for me.

In the end though, I think it’s far better to have the creator of the universe control my life, rather than my weak and fallible self. What could – or should – give me greater confidence than this?

Forgiveness

•4 May, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Forgiveness is tough. I don’t care what people say. I never thought I had an issue with it before. But for the past few years a lot of resentment and frustration that is directed at a couple of people has been festering in me. It’s not good. It’s not right. Slowly God is teaching me.

Today I read a story about forgiveness that will blow your mind. At least it blew my mind. The bit about justice in relation to forgiveness was especially meaningful for me. It’s a long article but read it. Even if you think you have no issue with forgiveness, or nobody to forgive, or you don’t give a flip about grace, read it. Just read it.

The Other Side of Hate by Andrew Corsello.

What’s Tripping You Up?

•3 May, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Yesterday in church the reading was Colossians 2:6-15. Verse 8 particularly struck me, as it summed up something I had been thinking for a while.

See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.

This verse can apply to loads of things, but for myself it speaks to the shaping of my own worldview and how in recent years I let it be informed by earthly philosophies rather than by Christ. And in particular how I let my compassion – which I believe is something which comes from the Holy Spirit – be somewhat eradicated from my being as it interfered with my economic and political philosophies, not to mention my cynical mindset.

This is not to say that I turned completely heartless. And this is not to say that my economic and political beliefs were completely devoid of Christian thought. Neither is true. However – what I found myself doing was allowing my daily instinct and thought to be grounded on on these earthly philosophies, which are something other than Christ.

I am so thankful that I became aware of this. And that God is now healing and restoring my heart to a place it once was – a better version, even.

How easy it is to be caught up in the thought processes of the world. To water down our beliefs, harden our hearts, make excuses for things which have no place in our lives. Thankfully the God of grace is ready to take us back, open our eyes, and enable us to see the real truth.

What Are We Doing Here?

•28 April, 2010 • Leave a Comment

I recently watched a great documentary about a family of brothers that travel from Cairo to Cape Town for the purpose of examining the in/effectiveness of aid in Africa. Anyone involved with the poor should watch this movie. It’s called What Are We Doing Here?. As I’ve been contemplating my future, many of the issues addressed in the movie are questions that I have been asking myself. And it confirmed many of my thoughts too.

One of the most compelling scenes was when they meet a young woman in Rwanda who has been orphaned, is HIV positive, and is caring for her younger brothers. The translator is so upset by her story that she is crying as she is translating, and at one point has to stop altogether. For me, this family represents the people that should be helped regardless. There need be no discussion of appropriate or effective aid. Caring for orphans. I wanted to swoop them all up and bring them into my home.

There are funny moments in this movie as well, and touching ones, and even encouraging ones. This movie shouldn’t put you off helping others, but instead help you to examine how. I can’t recommend enough that people watch this film. For too long we have been collectively ignoring the business of aid, and it’s time we got down and dirty in our evaluation and our approach.

New Theme Song

•27 April, 2010 • Leave a Comment

I love music. I think most people do. Every few months I’ll hear a song that I’ll listen to over and over as it really touches me in a particular way.
This is my latest:
Love Can Move Mountains by the Proclaimers.

These are the lyrics:

a cynical mind won’t help you through the night
and it can’t hold you up when you’re too tired to fight
where you didn’t have the strength to look after yourself
you find all that you need for somebody else

but love can move mountains
love can move mountains
love can move mountains, yes it can
love can move mountains

that impossible task
you’re thinking of
is one you can complete
when you’re driven by love
and the strength that you find
won’t go slipping away
once it enters your soul
it’s reborn every day
love can move mountains

so if you’re lucky enough to live
to see love come your way
be thankful everyday
that it stays
oh that it stays

a cynical mind
won’t help you thought the night
and it can’t hold you up
when you’re too tired to fight
but love can move mountains